Blogs from Jupiter

I decided to edit my Friendster profile. Keep it short and simple this time. I revised my favorite stuff to just general statements. It felt I have to because some of my favorites are really no longer my favorites. This was the third time I revised my self description to: “Contemplating on becoming a mystic, a hermit or a monk in a faraway monastery.”

I recall a heated argument with Papa on religion and philosophy. I don’t claim I’m an expert on the subjects but I was provoked to debate with him because of his know-it-all attitude. I admit that I was a bit irked by his haughtiness. He’s against orthodox religion; not only with the Catholic Church but any form religion. He describes conventional religion as “blind leading the blind”.

I feel Papa had deep seated anger with regards to his abomination with religion. What I discern is that Papa might have had problems or personal issues with priests and leaders of the church. I remember him telling me that he was active in the Cursillo movement wayback and has taught catechism. But he never found God in religion.

Definitely, Dad’s journey is different from his children’s journeys. We have our own battles to fight, our own realizations on things. God will reveal Himself as appropriate to His children, at His right place, in His right time.

Going back to my debate with Papa (as if I could win an argument with a lawyer), I ended up stumped. Dad had his way of feeling you bad and stupid. I was so desperate that I threatened him: “I’ll become a priest!” I said that because I knew he hated priests with a passion. Because I knew he won’t like the statement.

But he answered grinning: “Go ahead. I am not stopping you.”

That statement from Dad has been hounding me for the past months. And just recently three people had indicated a priestly vocation for me. Sheesh! Honestly, I haven’t been praying right because of that nagging feeling. What if this is really my calling?

I’m okay with getting active in church or in my community or even a life of single blessedness. But a priest? Oh my Lord!

I hope I am wrong. I hope I am wrong. I hope I am wrong.