Blogs from Jupiter

Dad has been restless for the past days. We could no longer converse with him properly. And he has had hallucinations every time he is in pain. What calms him is listening to the repeated play of Mario Lanza’s Our Father and Ave Maria, and Josh Groban’s version of Broken Vow and You Raise Me Up. We would hear him hum these songs while playing. And every time it’s played, that’s the only time he is rested. Dad is bedridden, and is now almost skin and bones.

I’m a bit worried. I am scheduled to fly to Australia by the last week of October, and from there, I will proceed to Indonesia. My original schedule was one week in Gold Coast in Ozy, one week in Jakarta, Indonesia, and another week in Makassar also in Indonesia. I was thinking of not pushing through with these trips because of Papa’s condition. But these are previous commitments, and a commitment is a commitment.

But it seems that my angels are fixing things for me. Just yesterday, from a three-week schedule, my overseas trip was cut by a week to two weeks. My Makassar trip was cancelled to my benefit. It is my wish to have Dad around on my 31st birthday on November 16.

Yeah, I’m going on my first year after three decades of existence. And despite Papa’s condition, I was never this strong. Papa has been giving me, and all of us, the moral boost needed to surpass these distressing times. My sick dad is our very source of strength.

Mama, on the other hand, has already accepted Papa’s situation, though she still occasionally cries. We are now able to discuss sanely things that we have to prepare. But we’re still fighting as we still feel that Papa is still fighting.

Dad’s been seeing visions already. We would hear him cry “Inay!” (Mother). I asked him if he was referring to her mother, my late Lola Gaudelia, or my Mama’s mother, my late Lola Maris. She is so beautiful according to my Dad. After a few minutes, I heard my Dad hum the song Immaculate Mother. And I sang the song with him.

I am consoled and at peace because “Inay” is just beside Papa.